Everything you ever wanted to know about the renowned healer, humanitarian, pretend doctor and greatest living human being ... The great, the wonderful, the magnificent, the Chuck Norris of cancer, the one, the only... NotDoctor LEONARD COLDWELL..
A little gem today which shows The Leipzig Lardbucket either doesn't read what he posts or can't remember what he's said a few days ago... Which is often a problem in the elderly...
This from a man who claims global warming is a scam, socialised healthcare for the poor is a communist abomination and he doesn't / shouldn't have to pay taxes in the first place...
Perhaps what bothers him isn't that his tax-dollar is being spent on war / bailouts / defence but that it is being spent on health / education / renewable energy / the environment...
Or perhaps he thinks money should be spent on 'healthcare' from unqualified quacks like him and his 'hands on healing'...
Mind you I doubt the tax on his pitiful income since Katy gave him the push would pay for much anyway...
Well there's not much to report from The Frankfurt Fatso over the last few days... The usual kissing of Donald Trump's arse and the usual alt.med bullshit so here for your mild amusement are just a couple of weeks worth of spelling mistakes by the "multi-bestselling-author" with four PhDs.
"Procecute" (Prosecute) "Ist in ist last breath" (is in its last breath) "Poltitit" (Political) "Polit" (Political.. Again) "Opponants" (Opponents) "Respocible" (Responsible) "Archieves" (Archives or perhaps anchovies) "Committet" (Committed) "Mein" (My... Not actually a spelling mistake just the wrong f**king language) "Cought" (Caught) "Preventet" (Prevented) "Kutture" (Culture) "Dead" (Death) "Dead" (Death... Again) "Dowon" (Down) "Enlish" (English) "Wifes" (Wives) "Threaded" (Threatened)
"Frieds request" (Friend requests... Or he wants more chips) "Doctor Leonard Coldwell" (Herr Bernd Klein)
Apparently the German for "Illiterate" is "Analphabet".
OK... It's pretty much a given that The Berlin Butterball™ just makes figures up in exactly the same way as he makes up his medical 'facts', his 'qualifications' and his whole f**king life story so what is today's magic number?...
So he's claiming one of his websites is in the top 0.5% worldwide but what does that actually mean even assuming it is true?
There are overONE BILLION websites on the web and the vast majority of them get virtually no traffic whatsoever so being in the top 0.5% only means you get some traffic... It's hardly something to boast about... Even this blog gets between 50 and 100 hits per day... The big problem with Lenny's claim is that "top 0.5%" only means in the top 50,000,000 websites... Yes that's fifty MILLION... Somewhat akin to me claiming to be amongst the top 30,000,000 most famous Englishmen... It's true but utterly meaningless.
As for his hacking claim... Yeah Lenny... We've heard it all before... You must be the most hacked person on the web which suggest you are either very unlucky, don't know shit about running a website, BIG FARMER really are out to get you despite the fact you're not actually a doctor and you clearly don't have a f**king clue about science, medicine or anything else... Or... Vastly more likely... You're just making shit up again to bolster your self appointed status as a Brave Maverick Doctor.
"The Brave Maverick Doctor is a part of the mythos of woo, anti-science and conspiracist thinking generally.
In the usual scenario a "brave maverick doctor" invents a miracle cure for cancer, AIDS, autism, chronic Lyme disease, malaria and toe fungus, but this is suppressed by evil Big Pharma and he is hounded by Big Pharma Shills who cause trouble with advertising and medical regulators on the wholly spurious grounds that nobody else in the entire world has ever managed to duplicate the effect of the miracle cure.
Large numbers of Brave Maverick Doctors are not doctors at all - many claim the title ND, which stands for "Not a Doctor""
Does that remind you of anybody?
ETA:
Thinking about it though... You're not brave as your refusal to answer questions about your 'qualifications', life story and name proves. Add to that your constant empty threats of legal action and your cowardly attempts to get your fans to harm Connie with your disgusting lies about your dead mutt which when you know damned well she had nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact you are so f**king spineless you even withheld your actual address from legal papers when trying... And failing... To sue Jason. I say failing because you didn't even turn up for the hearing... You know as well as I do you'd last about 10 seconds in the witness box before the judge clocked you for what you are... A fat, egotistical, congenital liar.
That takes care of 'brave'...
'Maverick'?.. No... Just a f**kwit.
'Doctor'?... Not in this universe... Not even close... I have a greyhound with a better grasp of human biology than you and he struggles to bark and walk at the same time.
I think it's been established beyond any reasonable doubt that Not-Doctor Coldwell's preferred statistical method of pulling figures directly out of his arse to make himself seem important is a rich vein of inadvertent humour and today's example is a true gem...
"The largest European Internet TV station with over one Billion viewers"... A full 1/6th of the population of the world watch an internet TV station nobody has heard of?.. Errrr... That might be credible... Actually it wouldn't and that's not even taking into account the fact that there are only about 200 million people in the world who speak German either as a first or a foreign language and Querdunken TV's entire output is in German.
Incidentally... In keeping with my standard method of measuring the actual fame of people on the internet (as opposed to the fame inside their head) against a fixed scale... The Muppets... Querdunken TV have two YouTube channels with a total subscriber base of less than 20,000... As at time of writing The Muppets channel has 515,966...
They say "By their friends shall ye know them"... Or something like that anyway... It's probably from the bible or Shakespeare or sumfink... I can't be arsed looking it up... Perhaps I imagined it... Anyway... In that spirit I give you the Deutsche Dimwit's latest offering concerning the appallingterriblesad comically poetic beating into unconsciousness of renowned British football hooligan, racist and retard Tommy 'More Aliases Than Klaus Barbie'Robinson*...
If you live in the USofA or one of the other colonies you probably won't be familiar with the name Tommy Robinson but here in the UK this appalling shit-smear waste of simian DNA will be familiar as a long-standing moron from the extreme right...
Like his would be boyfriend Lenny... our home-grown-half-wit has a penchant for pseudonyms... His real name is Stephen Christopher Yaxley but apart from the Tommy Robinson alias (no relation to the esteemed English institution that is Tom Robinson) he's also gone by Andrew McMaster, Paul Harris and Stephen Yaxley-Lennon... It is said** that at weekends he likes to be called The Honourable Lady Ffiona Ffortescue-Ffrench; Third Duchess of Dunstable but that's neither herenorthere...
Now Stephen / Tommy / Andrew / Paul / Stephen / Ffiona might be a stranger to his own name but he's no stranger to either Nazi politics and racism nor a stranger to the criminal law system... He has been a member of the British National Party where he subsequently and comically claimed to be ignorant of the fact they were racists... He was the leader of the 'Clearly Not Racist Except They F**king Are' English Defence League and founder of the equally racist European Defence League... He actually had the brass neck to claim that he left the EDL because of the "dangers of far-right extremism" which is a bit like attending an orgy and leaving after five hours because there's a lot of shagging going on.
He was subsequently 1.61% of the total membership of the comically short-lived BNP spin-off British Freedom Party and and is currently plying his wares EDL v2.0 PEDIGA UK which has less (or is it fewer?) members than The Flat Earth Society's round the world yacht club.
As for his criminal record...
2003: Assaulting an off-duty cop who attempted to stop him beating up his girlfriend... 12 months porridge.
2010: Threatening, abusive or insulting behaviour (football hooliganism basically)... 12 month rehabilitation order, 150 hours of unpaid work, banned from football grounds for three years and £650 costs.
2011: Common assault... 12 months suspended,
2011: Breach of bail conditions... Returned to prison... Went on hunger-strike but got peckish after 24 hours and started eating again... Not so much a 'hunger-strike' as 'missing lunch'.
2011: Rooftop protest in Zurich... £3000 fine plus three days in a 'grimy prison'.
2012: Passport offences... 10 months stir.***
2012: Three counts of mortgage fraud... 18 months in Her Majesty's one star hotels.
Footnotes...
* I might not know my bible or Shakespeare but I know my Carter USM... “More aliases than Klaus Barbie” quote from the excellent 'Sheriff Fatman'... CHOON!!!
** By me.
*** He's banned from entering the US so he used a false passport... And got caught.
Well it's certainly been a quiet month when it comes to Porky Coldwell's bullshit, racism and lies because he's spent the last month on the naughty step being unable to post on the "CIA and NWO controlled" Facebook but I'm pleased disappointed to say he's back with the usual collection of lies, stupidity and of course inconsistency...
Loyal... and moderately disinterested to be honest... readers will recall that he was banned from Facebook for posting racist hate speech... and that it was me (and perhaps others too) who reported him and got him banned. You might also recall that I predicted... correctly... that he would claim he was banned for posting about "The Muslim Kenyan Negro in the Whitehouse"... Well now he's changed his story completely which should come as no surprise to anybody who has been following The Teutonic Twerp's antics... I really doubt 'Consistency' is Lenny's middle name... 'Fullofshit' possibly but 'Consistency'?... No.
But anyway.... This is what he is now claiming lying happened...
"My Staff and I will start making new Posts here for a while but we will
eventually supporting FB. FB made Posts that I did not make and blocked
me because of their on Posts on my Site here. I deleted some of my FB
Pages already but they are still there. Since they will block me soon
again please write to... blah blah blah blah"
So there we have it.... He wasn't banned because he was posting the troof about POTUS or he was posting racist hate-speech... he was banned because Facebook were making posts that he had nothing to do with...
Sounds entirely credible...
Well... No it doesn't... It's just a variation on the "I was hacked" bullshit he's repeatedly used in the past when he's done his habitual posting-shit-without-thinking / posting-shit-after-too-many-bourbons act...
No Lenny... You were banned because you are a barely literate, hateful, racist, anti-semitic, charlatan who lacks the mental capacity to think things through before you act... Nobody believes your f**king shit any more except a handful of morons who can't see through your pitiful scam.
Changing the subject... Or perhaps not... Lenny has also been bringing us all the latest in false news from last year by repeating the bullshit story that the people behind the urban-legend-busting Snopes website have been busted for corruption and fraud...
I really don't know what specifically Tubby Coldwell has got against Snopes... Apart from the fact they are a part of the rational end of the internet and actually interested in truth rather than the irrational-telling-lies-is-genetic end of the internet where NotDoctor Lenny lives... But is it true?
Is it f**k as like...
Clearly Bernd Blockhead didn't actually read the the page he linked to because if he had managed to get half way down the page he would have seen it was a hoax which originated on a parody site <clickity-click>...
Now you would think that somebody who regularly gets his knickers in a knot over reports of alleged criminal behaviour like that 'forcible fondling' police report he doesn't like people mentioning would check his facts before accusing others of criminal activity but then when has he EVER checked anything except his ever receding receded hairline and his ever expanding waistline?..
His eyesight must be failing too... which given he's a total w**ker isn't surprising... Because he can't even spot a terrible bit of Photoshopping either and in that spirit I give you this half-arsed waste of three minutes... Feel free to share...
