Sunday, 18 February 2018

Fake doctor Leonard Coldwell calls his pot and his kettle black.

In what is possibly the least self-aware and most irony-meter-overloading post the 100% unqualified charlatan Not-A-Doctor Leonard "Nine PhDs" Coldwell has posted in a while I bring you this classic post from his female on-line persona Leonora Coldwell Eyn Rand...

Now if you are like me and have a minimal grasp of the German language that probably doesn't make much sense but there's a word that jumps out.... "Unqualifizeite"... Or as we say in God's own English... "Unqualified"...

The headline reads... According to Google Translate...

"Two Germans died because of treatment by unqualified migrant doctors"

Yes folks... Leonard Coldwell the unqualified fake doctor migrant is warning his ever decreasing band of followers about the dangers of unqualified migrant doctors.

In reality the doctors referred to in the article were at least arguably qualified although their qualifications were not it appears valid in Germany. Compare and contrast if you will the 'qualifications' of Lenny which are of course completely and utterly bogus and not valid for the practice of medicine in Germany or anywhere else in the world...

Lenny... You owe me an irony meter...



Friday, 29 December 2017

Multiple PhD recipient Leonard Coldwell makes a fool of himself again.

For a man with one, five or nine PhDs Not-A-Doctor Leonard Coldwell doesn't seem to know much about anything and particularly not chemistry... Or internet culture...

Over on his Eyn Rand Facebook page he posted this...

Eagle eyed readers may have noticed the use of the word 'Dihydrogenmonoxid' but we'll come back to that... Here's the story link (via Google Translate) to from the apparently trustworthy Wetteronline website... That's weather online if you're not German... 

There it is again... Dihydrogen Monoxide... But wait!!!! What was the date of this story? Ah... April 1st... Hmmmm...

Here's the edit from the article...

"Contrails and chemtrails

Addendum: As you have noticed immediately, of course, this message is an April Fool's joke: Oxidan or dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) is nothing more than the chemical name for water. And, of course, it is a truism that the vapor trails from jets mostly consist of water vapor and that water plays a crucial role in weather forecasting. Only the research society UEGSD we have invented freely. We ask you to look into this little april-flyer. :-)"

And here's the first paragraph from the Wikipedia Dihydrogen Monoxide page...

"The dihydrogen monoxide hoax involves calling water by the unfamiliar chemical name "dihydrogen monoxide" (DHMO), and listing some of water's effects in a particularly alarming manner, such as accelerating corrosion and causing suffocation. The hoax often calls for dihydrogen monoxide to be banned, regulated, and labeled as hazardous. It illustrates how a lack of scientific literacy and an exaggerated analysis can lead to misplaced fears."

And so there we have it... Further proof the Not-A-Doctor Leonard Codlwell is scientifically illiterate at a very basic level but also proof that he doesn't even read the webpages he links to.

Let me leave you with a seasonally appropriate song...

"♫Oh the weather outside is frightful
♫But the fire is so delightful
♫And since we've no place to go
♫Let it precipitate solid dihydrogen monoxide! Let it precipitate solid dihydrogen monoxide! Let it precipitate solid dihydrogen monoxide!♫"

Sunday, 24 December 2017

Lenny's Facebook Woes... or ...An early Xmas prezzie to the world from Facebook

So it's not been a good month for Lenny over on Facebook... First his 'Dr Leonard Coldwell' page gets permanently deleted...

...Then his replacement 'Krebsheiler Coldwell' (That's 'Cancer healer Coldwell' if my O Level German (failed) is anything to go by) lasted about a day... Probably because I grassed him up for a fake name and for resurrecting a banned page)...

 ...and then his (just about) English language page got suspended for 30 days...

 As usual Lenny pretends Facebook banned him for promoting his 'cure for cancer' or, to be more precise, his 'new' book and he claims there's been another attempt on his life... That must be the seventh or eighth so far.

So is this 'Brave Maverick Doctor' narrative any less bullshit than the many previous times he's employed it? No... Of course it fucking isn't. Leaving aside the fantasy attempts to assassinate him... For which he's never provided a scrap of evidence that they are anything other than a fantasy... Lets look at what ACTUALLY cost him his pages...

Here's the post that got his English language page suspended... And it was me that reported it...

Let me quote that so the Google bots will associate (Not A) Doctor Leonard Coldwell with the vile racist sentiments he reposts...

"The Swedes have had it with the Muslim invasion currently underway in their country. Nine refugee centres have been burnt to the ground to get the message across"

Now that story is A) Not true, B) From 2015 and C) the photograph is of a recycling plant not a 'refugee centre' (The grab crane is a bit of a giveaway)* but what matters is the fact that the appallingly racist (Not A) Dr Leonard Coldwell thinks such a post is worth making... The message that Musilms best leave or face being massacred in arson attacks.

Leonard Coldwell... The great humanitarian... My spotty white arse.

Well there we have it... More of exactly the same shit as before from Leonard Coldwell... Hatred, bigotry, racism and incitement to violence against the most vulnerable in society.

I do at least take comfort from the fact that Lenny is somewhat of a busted flush these days. His scamming has always been third rate at best but what has he been reduced to now? His US version of his IBMS (Idiocy Based Money Scam) is dead and buried, his German version is on life support and his latest self-published rehash of his book isn't even on Amazon.

All he seems to have left are his Facebook accounts which attract minimal 'likes' and 'shares' and his tatty collection of websites.

Will 2018 finally see the back of the vile little creep? Who can say.

Until next time my loyal readers... The compliments of the season to you and may all your days be free of irritating, racist bullshit merchants like Lenny.

*Snopes article on the Swedish Refugee Centre lies.

Tuesday, 8 August 2017

I have become (the announcer of) death. The destroyer of meat feast pizza.

Good evening loyal readers...

In truth I have very little to report on viz-a-viz the inane ramblings of everybody's least favourite pretend doctor. He's still not doing anything particularly noteworthy above and beyond posting shit on Facebook and getting himself banned repeatedly for what he claims is posting cancer cures but is in reality for posting hate-speech. So the same old same old really.

I couldn't however resist commenting on this...

Yes folks... Here we see Lenny and Lurch from The Adam's Family General Albert Stubblebine III and Rima Laibow who he describes, with the usual modesty, as "true friends. 3 PERSONS WHO ARE NUMBER 1 in their territory."

Now... Leaving aside the fact that he can't even spell his 'true friends' names correctly there's the minor fact that his 'true friend' Rima doesn't seem to have told her 'true friend' Lenny that his 'true friend' General Bert 3 is what people who talk like what I talk call 'Brown Bread'... Yep... He snuffed it, went to meet his bookmaker, rang down the curtain and joined the choir invisible six month ago.

Rima Laibow (I don't know if she is or was a real doctor as opposed to a pretend doctor like Lenny) was in fact the wife of General Bert 3 and used his illness and death as just another way of raising money for her Natural Solutions Foundation scam. As my overflowing email spam directory proves. Incidentally... Gen B3 'went to live on a farm' in spite of the 'natural' ministrations of Rima.

So there you go Lenny... Your 'true friend' is pushing up the daisies and I suggest the next time you dig around in your 'old pictures I can use in my scams' directory for stuff to post between the fake news and racism you check to see if your 'true friend' and fellow 'number 1 in their territory' (and I think you mean 'field' rather than territory to be honest) you check to see if they're still drawing breath.

My sincere condo-diddly-odences as Ned Flanders would say.

PS: Unlike Lenny and Possibly-A-Real-Doctor Laibow General Bert actually has a Wikipedia page... It's... Err... Odd...

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Lenny the Liar Lets Loose his Legal Team... Or rather he totally fails to.

In my last post I said I wouldn't be posting about Lenny's numerous reposts of inane conspiracies, fake news and general bullshit but I simply can't resist mocking his latest attempts to convince his gullible followers that he's on the verge of legal action against his 'enemies'.

"At the waste of time and time again slander or insults against Dr Leonard Coldwell Post: we hereby assure you that we eidesstattlich applications for civil and criminal proceedings against this filth. We have a law firm and hired a private detective agency, only with this human waste (most of the pharmaceutical industry is paid) legally correct manner. We know your names and will soon open lich your entire dirty past on Dr. Publish Coldwell opinion radio and TV 34 million people will have the opportunity to contact you. Let's see how the enemy and find this. Demafierer We will hunt you, legally and legally eliminate to look bad. Bye bye dirt. Danielle for the entire team"
 Well 'Danielle'... I'm quite sure you haven't hired a 'private detective agency' but if you have you can get them to stand down but before they do get them or your 'law firm' to email and I'll give you my full name, address and the name of MY lawyers.

"And the enemy pigs: if someone is posting link with lies he automatically assumes the legal responsibility for the content! Some of you are cowards in the enemy ranks of someone under his real name claims that dr Leonard Coldwell not his real and legal name is or one of those titles and would not lawfully and legally (the under a false name and without post photos directly Automatically a severe criminal sttaftat and we will be easy for you about your IP address must provide the fb find) so if any of you dirt and the cowards hiding behind fake names and photos hide has the courage to say that dr Leonard Coldwell not his real name is legal And this information is wrong? Let the game begin: total destruction
Dr Leonard Coldwell"
 Yeah Lenny... Let the 'total destruction' commence... Come on you whiny, sawn-off, fat little bitch... SUE ME!

I've been all but begging you to follow through with your pathetic threats to sue me for years and you've done fuck all. As I said on your Facebook pages... Which you immediately deleted... I would truly love to get you in the witness box and ask all of those awkward little questions about your bogus life-story, bogus titles and bogus qualifications... You'd last about five fucking seconds before being shown up as the pathological liar and serial charlatan that you are... Bitch!

Once again that address you'll need to sue me...
Queen's Bench Division
The Royal Courts of Justice

Get your 'legal team' to email me for respondent details...

Oh... And by the way... Good luck proving you're not a holocaust denying, Hitler worshipping Nazi... I've added this to my collection...

Friday, 12 May 2017

Is this the end of Coldwatch?

OK... I'll skip straight to the punchline and say the answer is 'No... This isn't the end of Coldwatch'...

But there's a 'but'.

Over the last few years I have been cataloguing the lies, deceit, bullshit, racism, anti-semitism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, Hitler worship and all round charlatanry, bigotry and nonsense of the world's leading fake doctor and pretend expert on just about everything. The utter fraud that is Not-A-Doctor Leonard Coldwell a/k/a Bernd Witchner a/k/a Bernd Klein.

But... (see I told you there was a 'but' didn't I)... Over the last few months his activities have become so predictable and tedious that I'm at risk of simply repeating myself ad-nauseum... just like he does... And I don't want to do that.

I have mentioned a couple of times that it seems like the little fat fraud is back in his native Germany either permanently or for the majority of the time. Now I don't know for sure but I can theorise as to why Lenny is now targetting, albeit somewhat half-heartedly, the German speaking world and it boils down to one or both of these... Either his income stream has dried up to the extent he's reduced to living on benefits and they are way more generous in Germany than in the USA or he's simply decided that Germany has an untapped reservoir of of the sort of mugs who will pay him for his worthless shit.

Thinking about it those are probably both the same thing.

So what do we know for sure or nearly for sure?

1) Lenny has closed his Idiocy Based Money Scam in the US to new members because, he claims, it has reached saturation point and he can't cope with any more members. Given that his IBMS website has not been significantly updated for several years and that the last 'conference' he held was a poorly attended farce in 2014 I think we can safely say that IBMS USA has precisely no members whatsoever.

2) Since the beginning of 2017 I have been keeping an eye on Lenny's posting times to social media. Although there are exceptions the vast majority of his posts are made between 9am and midnight GMT/BST which means he's either in the US and largely nocturnal or he's in Europe somewhere... My guess would be Germany.

3) Starting in 2016 and increasing in 2017 his posts on social media have been inclined heavily towards German language posts and he has been pushing his IBMS Germany scam almost to the exclusion of pushing his US scam.

4) So far this year there have been, to the best of my knowledge three IBMS Germany events to cater to his claimed membership of about 30,000. The first one had an attendance figure of around two dozen (including his old mucker 'Dr' Hohn and his mother), the second one on 1st Apr didn't seem to happen at all and the third one is a bit of a mystery... He did post a rather bizarre picture of a crowd of people standing around tables eating without the aid of chairs but there was nothing to suggest this was actually a Lenny event. Then there were a handful of German language 'testimonials' but of pictures of a packed auditorium there were none.

5) Lenny has just started offering an IBMS coaching 'qualification' to his few German suckers for a mere twelve thousand of their German Euros. This is the self same money-milking tactic he used in the US to little effect apart from, so I hear, a lot of disgruntled 'coaches' asking for their money back. You do have to wonder at the intelligence, or rather the lack of it, of people who would pay good money to be a 'coach' to a 'system' that even it's duplicitous inventor can't sell.

It should perhaps be noted that Lenny, true to disreputable type, is claiming that all IBMS Germany 'sales' are covered by US law in much the same way as IBMS US sales were covered by German law. This is obviously a pathetic attempt to avoid having to pay refunds to his marks when they realise he doesn't actually have anything to sell... Well... Nothing worth paying for. I suspect the courts in Germany would have the same attitude to this 'legal disclaimer' as American courts would and tell him to get fucked.

6) There have been a handful of new webshites created this year pushing Lenny's fantasy TV channel (neither his nor really a TV channel) and his new 'seminare' business amongst other things. All in German only with no English language equivalent.

So does that all add up to Lenny having moved back to Germany? Well it's not conclusive but it's an awful lot of circumstantial evidence so I'm going to say 'yes' with a confidence level of 92.3%

And now to sum up...

Lenny is probably back in Germany which will no doubt come as a massive relief to the population of the USA and a massive blow to the good denizens of Bundesrepublik Deutschland and he's catering to a German speaking audience und ich spreche kein Deutsch but it doesn't really matter... I know enough German to know what he posts is either fake news, stupid conspiracy theories, hatred or adverts for his own collapsing empire.

I could post a screenshot of his claim that canned foods from Thailand contain HIV which is idiotic, medically ignorant and over five years old... and false of course but what would be the point? He's been posting this sort of shit for years and his Facebook posts rarely exceed a dozen 'likes' and most get no likes at all. His new DrColdwell1 account on Twitter gets zero likes, zero comments and zero retweets.

I could comment on his latest theory that his former hero Donald Trump has been 'got at' by 'the Jews' but again what would be the point other than to mock the way his hero has fallen from grace?

I could comment on his ever-forthcoming new book on vaccination that he's been promising for the last year or more but again... What would be the point? "New book fails to appear for the 379th day running" soon gets boring.

So... And I really will sum up this time... This blog has been quieter this year and almost silent for the last month because Lenny hasn't done anything worth commenting on that I haven't commented on before at least twice... He's become boring, predictable and he doesn't seem to even have the willpower to properly push his scam to his new/old audience.

Lenny is back where he started trying to lazily grift his way to fame and fortune in Germany and doing no better today than he did then as far as I can tell. His English language scams are deceased for all intents and purposes and his glory days as Kevin Trudeau's bitch are ancient history... And that's what Lenny himself is becoming... History.

No income stream... Money spent... Golden horsey statue pawned... Rented lakeside mansions vacated... USA abandoned to its fate.

There WILL be further posts on this blog when... Or should that be 'if'?.. He does anything interesting and yes Lenny... I will still be watching you... But until then...

Au revoir mes ami.