Friday, 12 May 2017

Is this the end of Coldwatch?

OK... I'll skip straight to the punchline and say the answer is 'No... This isn't the end of Coldwatch'...

But there's a 'but'.

Over the last few years I have been cataloguing the lies, deceit, bullshit, racism, anti-semitism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, Hitler worship and all round charlatanry, bigotry and nonsense of the world's leading fake doctor and pretend expert on just about everything. The utter fraud that is Not-A-Doctor Leonard Coldwell a/k/a Bernd Witchner a/k/a Bernd Klein.

But... (see I told you there was a 'but' didn't I)... Over the last few months his activities have become so predictable and tedious that I'm at risk of simply repeating myself ad-nauseum... just like he does... And I don't want to do that.

I have mentioned a couple of times that it seems like the little fat fraud is back in his native Germany either permanently or for the majority of the time. Now I don't know for sure but I can theorise as to why Lenny is now targetting, albeit somewhat half-heartedly, the German speaking world and it boils down to one or both of these... Either his income stream has dried up to the extent he's reduced to living on benefits and they are way more generous in Germany than in the USA or he's simply decided that Germany has an untapped reservoir of of the sort of mugs who will pay him for his worthless shit.

Thinking about it those are probably both the same thing.

So what do we know for sure or nearly for sure?

1) Lenny has closed his Idiocy Based Money Scam in the US to new members because, he claims, it has reached saturation point and he can't cope with any more members. Given that his IBMS website has not been significantly updated for several years and that the last 'conference' he held was a poorly attended farce in 2014 I think we can safely say that IBMS USA has precisely no members whatsoever.

2) Since the beginning of 2017 I have been keeping an eye on Lenny's posting times to social media. Although there are exceptions the vast majority of his posts are made between 9am and midnight GMT/BST which means he's either in the US and largely nocturnal or he's in Europe somewhere... My guess would be Germany.

3) Starting in 2016 and increasing in 2017 his posts on social media have been inclined heavily towards German language posts and he has been pushing his IBMS Germany scam almost to the exclusion of pushing his US scam.

4) So far this year there have been, to the best of my knowledge three IBMS Germany events to cater to his claimed membership of about 30,000. The first one had an attendance figure of around two dozen (including his old mucker 'Dr' Hohn and his mother), the second one on 1st Apr didn't seem to happen at all and the third one is a bit of a mystery... He did post a rather bizarre picture of a crowd of people standing around tables eating without the aid of chairs but there was nothing to suggest this was actually a Lenny event. Then there were a handful of German language 'testimonials' but of pictures of a packed auditorium there were none.

5) Lenny has just started offering an IBMS coaching 'qualification' to his few German suckers for a mere twelve thousand of their German Euros. This is the self same money-milking tactic he used in the US to little effect apart from, so I hear, a lot of disgruntled 'coaches' asking for their money back. You do have to wonder at the intelligence, or rather the lack of it, of people who would pay good money to be a 'coach' to a 'system' that even it's duplicitous inventor can't sell.

It should perhaps be noted that Lenny, true to disreputable type, is claiming that all IBMS Germany 'sales' are covered by US law in much the same way as IBMS US sales were covered by German law. This is obviously a pathetic attempt to avoid having to pay refunds to his marks when they realise he doesn't actually have anything to sell... Well... Nothing worth paying for. I suspect the courts in Germany would have the same attitude to this 'legal disclaimer' as American courts would and tell him to get fucked.

6) There have been a handful of new webshites created this year pushing Lenny's fantasy TV channel (neither his nor really a TV channel) and his new 'seminare' business amongst other things. All in German only with no English language equivalent.

So does that all add up to Lenny having moved back to Germany? Well it's not conclusive but it's an awful lot of circumstantial evidence so I'm going to say 'yes' with a confidence level of 92.3%

And now to sum up...

Lenny is probably back in Germany which will no doubt come as a massive relief to the population of the USA and a massive blow to the good denizens of Bundesrepublik Deutschland and he's catering to a German speaking audience und ich spreche kein Deutsch but it doesn't really matter... I know enough German to know what he posts is either fake news, stupid conspiracy theories, hatred or adverts for his own collapsing empire.

I could post a screenshot of his claim that canned foods from Thailand contain HIV which is idiotic, medically ignorant and over five years old... and false of course but what would be the point? He's been posting this sort of shit for years and his Facebook posts rarely exceed a dozen 'likes' and most get no likes at all. His new DrColdwell1 account on Twitter gets zero likes, zero comments and zero retweets.

I could comment on his latest theory that his former hero Donald Trump has been 'got at' by 'the Jews' but again what would be the point other than to mock the way his hero has fallen from grace?

I could comment on his ever-forthcoming new book on vaccination that he's been promising for the last year or more but again... What would be the point? "New book fails to appear for the 379th day running" soon gets boring.

So... And I really will sum up this time... This blog has been quieter this year and almost silent for the last month because Lenny hasn't done anything worth commenting on that I haven't commented on before at least twice... He's become boring, predictable and he doesn't seem to even have the willpower to properly push his scam to his new/old audience.

Lenny is back where he started trying to lazily grift his way to fame and fortune in Germany and doing no better today than he did then as far as I can tell. His English language scams are deceased for all intents and purposes and his glory days as Kevin Trudeau's bitch are ancient history... And that's what Lenny himself is becoming... History.


No income stream... Money spent... Golden horsey statue pawned... Rented lakeside mansions vacated... USA abandoned to its fate.

There WILL be further posts on this blog when... Or should that be 'if'?.. He does anything interesting and yes Lenny... I will still be watching you... But until then...

Au revoir mes ami.

Saturday, 15 April 2017

In which Lenny thinks he's doing Facebook a favour....



Well it looks like Leonard Coldwell, the world's leading pretend doctor and all round fraud is back in the harness as far as Facebook is concerned anyway.

It's much of the same.... Ridiculous boasts, racism and bullshit but this one is worth mentioning...

I hope that the sheer insanity of thinking you can unilaterally impose conditions or a "fine [of] one trillion dollars" on somebody who gives you a FREE means of promoting your drivel and bollocks doesn't need pointing out to my intelligent readers.

In other news it seems Lenny is claiming to have 32,000 members of his Idiocy Based Money Scam in Europe... That would make it 32,000 more members than the recently abandoned USA branch of the scam and it would make it truly strange that his Hanover 'event' two weeks ago wash a total washout.

I'm fairly certain that the above picture was taken at last weekend's big 'alt med' festival rather than a Lenny based operation but one thing really bothers me about this no doubt wonderful meal...  Where the fuck are the chairs?

Saturday, 8 April 2017

Leonard Coldwell and Donald Trump... Honeymoon over... Divorce inevitable.

It's always sad when a marriage ends... The disappointment, the recriminations, the realisation that the love has gone and the object of your love was never the person you thought they were in the first place.

Sad it is then that Not-A-Doctor Leonard Coldwell's long term romance with Donald Trump has come to an end. It was in truth always completely predictable that their marriage would end this way because the love only ever flowed from Lenny to his erstwhile husband... It never flowed back... It was unrequited love.










Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Where oh where has Not A Doctor Leonard Coldwell gone?

Oh where, oh where can he be?..

Yes, yes... I know I've not posted for the best part of two weeks but I've had more important things to deal with than the comings and goings of a pretend doctor.

But... I do wonder what is going on over in LennyLand where all but one of his Facebook accounts have been silent for a week and his female persona... Eyn Rand... Had posted thisa...


'Technical reasons' sayeth the Kraut Kwack... I wonder what that means in reality...

What is particularly surprising is that three days ago on 1st April (how appropriate) he was supposedly hosting another one (actually only the second) of his not-to-be-missed Idiocy Based Money Scam Germany seminars in Hamburg or Hanover of something beginning mit ein 'H' and yet he's not so much as mentioned it. Normally at this point he'd be crowing about the success of his scam but this time... Nuffink.

I can't help but wonder if the event actually went ahead or whether Germany is now totally wise to the fraudulent little fucker and he has abandoned the whole thing... Keeping what money his few marks have parted with of course.

I commented at the time of his last 'seminar' on the piss-poor turn-out of around 30 out of the 20,000 or so members he claimed to have. I'm guessing that virtually none of the 30 or so would be stupid enough to pay twice for the same shit or continue to pay their membership fees once they realise that Coldwell doesn't actually have anything to sell but third rate motivational crap they can get anywhere for nowt.

Now speaking of the IBMS scam I noticed that the original (and I use that word in its widest possible sense) IBMS USA has now officially gone down the pan...  
"We reached our limit for USA Members. Sorry at this time we cannot accept further Member Applications for english speaking Members."
...he says...


Of course this is nothing but complete bullshit unless his definition of "reaching our limit" is "have no members whatsoever". In reality IBMS USA never really got off the ground in the first place and most of the few members it did have initially were people who were members of the collapsed GIN scam (which Coldwell was a willing promoter of until he was sacked by Kevin Trudeau) who clearly didn't learn their lesson the first time.

I have theorised in some of my previous posts that Lenny was no longer resident in the USA and had moved back to Germany. Now I may have just missed it but I recently found yet another website run by the sawn off little crook going by the name of 'dr coldwell seminars' which is entirely in German... Hmmm.... Interesting...





Is The Land of The Free's loss Germany's burden? Stay tuned....



Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Just in case you forgot Leonard Coldwell was an anti-Semite....





Just for the record Judaism is between three and four thousand years old depending on who you ask and where you draw the line between preceding polytheistic religions and the beginning of monotheistic Judaism... So "A 6000 Year History" is pig ignorant bollocks from the word go.

Thursday, 9 March 2017

Leonard Coldwell... New lies as Lenny gets desperate for cash...


World renowned pretend doctor Leonard Coldwell... Formerly Bernd Witchner... Formerly Bernd Klein... Has a long history of adding new and entirely imaginary achievements to his CV which is why one entirely bogus PhD soon became one entirely bogus PhD and three imaginary PhDs... Such is Lenny's pathological inability to distinguish between reality, lies and preposterous tall stories which nobody in their right minds would believe for a nanosecond.

His penchant for wild flights of fantasy is probably no better illustrated than his patently ridiculous claim that he cured 35,000 patients of cancer during his time in Europe. You only need a grasp of basic arithmetic to realise this is totally impossible and yet it's a claim he has been making for years. Not content with spouting totally impossible bullshit today he's 'enhanced' the story with extra bells and whistles...

It started thus...





In short he's plugging another one of his idiotic seminars for morons with more money than sense.

This one is in Germany where, it appears, he has been living since the beginning of the year... Which is odd now that his hero The Orange Oaf is POTUS but I'll put that down to the unemployment benefits being more generous in the old country than the new world...

Where was I?... Oh yeah... All you have to do is transfer €999 to his bank account for this life changing opportunity to listen to the deranged ramblings of a third rate charlatan.

But anyway...

Further down the page we have this spiel...



Yes folks... There it is... A new enhancement to the old cretinous lie... Now it's not a boring old 35,000 patients but a new and improved 66,000 and now the 'studies' aren't just from his old mate Tommy Hohn but also 'doctor' Crone and 'professor' Wilkening.

And then theres a load of the usual bollocks... You know... Curing mummy of Hep C decades before it was discovered blah blah blah... Same shit, different figures, different days... But still all lies...

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Leonard Coldwell: The only answer to something that doesn't exist.

Feel the irrational need to protect yourself against the health effects of the most ridiculous conspiracy theory of all time? Then you need the ONLY ANSWER that a fake doctor and all-round charlatan recommends...


In other news Lenny says the Democrats don't have the right to represent him in spite of the minor fact he's not actually living there any more...