Tuesday, 8 August 2017

I have become (the announcer of) death. The destroyer of meat feast pizza.

Good evening loyal readers...

In truth I have very little to report on viz-a-viz the inane ramblings of everybody's least favourite pretend doctor. He's still not doing anything particularly noteworthy above and beyond posting shit on Facebook and getting himself banned repeatedly for what he claims is posting cancer cures but is in reality for posting hate-speech. So the same old same old really.

I couldn't however resist commenting on this...

Yes folks... Here we see Lenny and Lurch from The Adam's Family General Albert Stubblebine III and Rima Laibow who he describes, with the usual modesty, as "true friends. 3 PERSONS WHO ARE NUMBER 1 in their territory."

Now... Leaving aside the fact that he can't even spell his 'true friends' names correctly there's the minor fact that his 'true friend' Rima doesn't seem to have told her 'true friend' Lenny that his 'true friend' General Bert 3 is what people who talk like what I talk call 'Brown Bread'... Yep... He snuffed it, went to meet his bookmaker, rang down the curtain and joined the choir invisible six month ago.

Rima Laibow (I don't know if she is or was a real doctor as opposed to a pretend doctor like Lenny) was in fact the wife of General Bert 3 and used his illness and death as just another way of raising money for her Natural Solutions Foundation scam. As my overflowing email spam directory proves. Incidentally... Gen B3 'went to live on a farm' in spite of the 'natural' ministrations of Rima.

So there you go Lenny... Your 'true friend' is pushing up the daisies and I suggest the next time you dig around in your 'old pictures I can use in my scams' directory for stuff to post between the fake news and racism you check to see if your 'true friend' and fellow 'number 1 in their territory' (and I think you mean 'field' rather than territory to be honest) you check to see if they're still drawing breath.

My sincere condo-diddly-odences as Ned Flanders would say.

PS: Unlike Lenny and Possibly-A-Real-Doctor Laibow General Bert actually has a Wikipedia page... It's... Err... Odd... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Stubblebine

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Lenny the Liar Lets Loose his Legal Team... Or rather he totally fails to.

In my last post I said I wouldn't be posting about Lenny's numerous reposts of inane conspiracies, fake news and general bullshit but I simply can't resist mocking his latest attempts to convince his gullible followers that he's on the verge of legal action against his 'enemies'.

"At the waste of time and time again slander or insults against Dr Leonard Coldwell Post: we hereby assure you that we eidesstattlich applications for civil and criminal proceedings against this filth. We have a law firm and hired a private detective agency, only with this human waste (most of the pharmaceutical industry is paid) legally correct manner. We know your names and will soon open lich your entire dirty past on Dr. Publish Coldwell opinion radio and TV 34 million people will have the opportunity to contact you. Let's see how the enemy and find this. Demafierer We will hunt you, legally and legally eliminate to look bad. Bye bye dirt. Danielle for the entire team"
 Well 'Danielle'... I'm quite sure you haven't hired a 'private detective agency' but if you have you can get them to stand down but before they do get them or your 'law firm' to email leonardnotwell@gmail.com and I'll give you my full name, address and the name of MY lawyers.

"And the enemy pigs: if someone is posting link with lies he automatically assumes the legal responsibility for the content! Some of you are cowards in the enemy ranks of someone under his real name claims that dr Leonard Coldwell not his real and legal name is or one of those titles and would not lawfully and legally (the under a false name and without post photos directly Automatically a severe criminal sttaftat and we will be easy for you about your IP address must provide the fb find) so if any of you dirt and the cowards hiding behind fake names and photos hide has the courage to say that dr Leonard Coldwell not his real name is legal And this information is wrong? Let the game begin: total destruction
Dr Leonard Coldwell"
 Yeah Lenny... Let the 'total destruction' commence... Come on you whiny, sawn-off, fat little bitch... SUE ME!

I've been all but begging you to follow through with your pathetic threats to sue me for years and you've done fuck all. As I said on your Facebook pages... Which you immediately deleted... I would truly love to get you in the witness box and ask all of those awkward little questions about your bogus life-story, bogus titles and bogus qualifications... You'd last about five fucking seconds before being shown up as the pathological liar and serial charlatan that you are... Bitch!

Once again that address you'll need to sue me...
Queen's Bench Division
The Royal Courts of Justice

Get your 'legal team' to email me for respondent details...

Oh... And by the way... Good luck proving you're not a holocaust denying, Hitler worshipping Nazi... I've added this to my collection...

Friday, 12 May 2017

Is this the end of Coldwatch?

OK... I'll skip straight to the punchline and say the answer is 'No... This isn't the end of Coldwatch'...

But there's a 'but'.

Over the last few years I have been cataloguing the lies, deceit, bullshit, racism, anti-semitism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, Hitler worship and all round charlatanry, bigotry and nonsense of the world's leading fake doctor and pretend expert on just about everything. The utter fraud that is Not-A-Doctor Leonard Coldwell a/k/a Bernd Witchner a/k/a Bernd Klein.

But... (see I told you there was a 'but' didn't I)... Over the last few months his activities have become so predictable and tedious that I'm at risk of simply repeating myself ad-nauseum... just like he does... And I don't want to do that.

I have mentioned a couple of times that it seems like the little fat fraud is back in his native Germany either permanently or for the majority of the time. Now I don't know for sure but I can theorise as to why Lenny is now targetting, albeit somewhat half-heartedly, the German speaking world and it boils down to one or both of these... Either his income stream has dried up to the extent he's reduced to living on benefits and they are way more generous in Germany than in the USA or he's simply decided that Germany has an untapped reservoir of of the sort of mugs who will pay him for his worthless shit.

Thinking about it those are probably both the same thing.

So what do we know for sure or nearly for sure?

1) Lenny has closed his Idiocy Based Money Scam in the US to new members because, he claims, it has reached saturation point and he can't cope with any more members. Given that his IBMS website has not been significantly updated for several years and that the last 'conference' he held was a poorly attended farce in 2014 I think we can safely say that IBMS USA has precisely no members whatsoever.

2) Since the beginning of 2017 I have been keeping an eye on Lenny's posting times to social media. Although there are exceptions the vast majority of his posts are made between 9am and midnight GMT/BST which means he's either in the US and largely nocturnal or he's in Europe somewhere... My guess would be Germany.

3) Starting in 2016 and increasing in 2017 his posts on social media have been inclined heavily towards German language posts and he has been pushing his IBMS Germany scam almost to the exclusion of pushing his US scam.

4) So far this year there have been, to the best of my knowledge three IBMS Germany events to cater to his claimed membership of about 30,000. The first one had an attendance figure of around two dozen (including his old mucker 'Dr' Hohn and his mother), the second one on 1st Apr didn't seem to happen at all and the third one is a bit of a mystery... He did post a rather bizarre picture of a crowd of people standing around tables eating without the aid of chairs but there was nothing to suggest this was actually a Lenny event. Then there were a handful of German language 'testimonials' but of pictures of a packed auditorium there were none.

5) Lenny has just started offering an IBMS coaching 'qualification' to his few German suckers for a mere twelve thousand of their German Euros. This is the self same money-milking tactic he used in the US to little effect apart from, so I hear, a lot of disgruntled 'coaches' asking for their money back. You do have to wonder at the intelligence, or rather the lack of it, of people who would pay good money to be a 'coach' to a 'system' that even it's duplicitous inventor can't sell.

It should perhaps be noted that Lenny, true to disreputable type, is claiming that all IBMS Germany 'sales' are covered by US law in much the same way as IBMS US sales were covered by German law. This is obviously a pathetic attempt to avoid having to pay refunds to his marks when they realise he doesn't actually have anything to sell... Well... Nothing worth paying for. I suspect the courts in Germany would have the same attitude to this 'legal disclaimer' as American courts would and tell him to get fucked.

6) There have been a handful of new webshites created this year pushing Lenny's fantasy TV channel (neither his nor really a TV channel) and his new 'seminare' business amongst other things. All in German only with no English language equivalent.

So does that all add up to Lenny having moved back to Germany? Well it's not conclusive but it's an awful lot of circumstantial evidence so I'm going to say 'yes' with a confidence level of 92.3%

And now to sum up...

Lenny is probably back in Germany which will no doubt come as a massive relief to the population of the USA and a massive blow to the good denizens of Bundesrepublik Deutschland and he's catering to a German speaking audience und ich spreche kein Deutsch but it doesn't really matter... I know enough German to know what he posts is either fake news, stupid conspiracy theories, hatred or adverts for his own collapsing empire.

I could post a screenshot of his claim that canned foods from Thailand contain HIV which is idiotic, medically ignorant and over five years old... and false of course but what would be the point? He's been posting this sort of shit for years and his Facebook posts rarely exceed a dozen 'likes' and most get no likes at all. His new DrColdwell1 account on Twitter gets zero likes, zero comments and zero retweets.

I could comment on his latest theory that his former hero Donald Trump has been 'got at' by 'the Jews' but again what would be the point other than to mock the way his hero has fallen from grace?

I could comment on his ever-forthcoming new book on vaccination that he's been promising for the last year or more but again... What would be the point? "New book fails to appear for the 379th day running" soon gets boring.

So... And I really will sum up this time... This blog has been quieter this year and almost silent for the last month because Lenny hasn't done anything worth commenting on that I haven't commented on before at least twice... He's become boring, predictable and he doesn't seem to even have the willpower to properly push his scam to his new/old audience.

Lenny is back where he started trying to lazily grift his way to fame and fortune in Germany and doing no better today than he did then as far as I can tell. His English language scams are deceased for all intents and purposes and his glory days as Kevin Trudeau's bitch are ancient history... And that's what Lenny himself is becoming... History.

No income stream... Money spent... Golden horsey statue pawned... Rented lakeside mansions vacated... USA abandoned to its fate.

There WILL be further posts on this blog when... Or should that be 'if'?.. He does anything interesting and yes Lenny... I will still be watching you... But until then...

Au revoir mes ami.

Saturday, 15 April 2017

In which Lenny thinks he's doing Facebook a favour....

Well it looks like Leonard Coldwell, the world's leading pretend doctor and all round fraud is back in the harness as far as Facebook is concerned anyway.

It's much of the same.... Ridiculous boasts, racism and bullshit but this one is worth mentioning...

I hope that the sheer insanity of thinking you can unilaterally impose conditions or a "fine [of] one trillion dollars" on somebody who gives you a FREE means of promoting your drivel and bollocks doesn't need pointing out to my intelligent readers.

In other news it seems Lenny is claiming to have 32,000 members of his Idiocy Based Money Scam in Europe... That would make it 32,000 more members than the recently abandoned USA branch of the scam and it would make it truly strange that his Hanover 'event' two weeks ago wash a total washout.

I'm fairly certain that the above picture was taken at last weekend's big 'alt med' festival rather than a Lenny based operation but one thing really bothers me about this no doubt wonderful meal...  Where the fuck are the chairs?

Saturday, 8 April 2017

Leonard Coldwell and Donald Trump... Honeymoon over... Divorce inevitable.

It's always sad when a marriage ends... The disappointment, the recriminations, the realisation that the love has gone and the object of your love was never the person you thought they were in the first place.

Sad it is then that Not-A-Doctor Leonard Coldwell's long term romance with Donald Trump has come to an end. It was in truth always completely predictable that their marriage would end this way because the love only ever flowed from Lenny to his erstwhile husband... It never flowed back... It was unrequited love.

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Where oh where has Not A Doctor Leonard Coldwell gone?

Oh where, oh where can he be?..

Yes, yes... I know I've not posted for the best part of two weeks but I've had more important things to deal with than the comings and goings of a pretend doctor.

But... I do wonder what is going on over in LennyLand where all but one of his Facebook accounts have been silent for a week and his female persona... Eyn Rand... Had posted thisa...

'Technical reasons' sayeth the Kraut Kwack... I wonder what that means in reality...

What is particularly surprising is that three days ago on 1st April (how appropriate) he was supposedly hosting another one (actually only the second) of his not-to-be-missed Idiocy Based Money Scam Germany seminars in Hamburg or Hanover of something beginning mit ein 'H' and yet he's not so much as mentioned it. Normally at this point he'd be crowing about the success of his scam but this time... Nuffink.

I can't help but wonder if the event actually went ahead or whether Germany is now totally wise to the fraudulent little fucker and he has abandoned the whole thing... Keeping what money his few marks have parted with of course.

I commented at the time of his last 'seminar' on the piss-poor turn-out of around 30 out of the 20,000 or so members he claimed to have. I'm guessing that virtually none of the 30 or so would be stupid enough to pay twice for the same shit or continue to pay their membership fees once they realise that Coldwell doesn't actually have anything to sell but third rate motivational crap they can get anywhere for nowt.

Now speaking of the IBMS scam I noticed that the original (and I use that word in its widest possible sense) IBMS USA has now officially gone down the pan...  
"We reached our limit for USA Members. Sorry at this time we cannot accept further Member Applications for english speaking Members."
...he says...

Of course this is nothing but complete bullshit unless his definition of "reaching our limit" is "have no members whatsoever". In reality IBMS USA never really got off the ground in the first place and most of the few members it did have initially were people who were members of the collapsed GIN scam (which Coldwell was a willing promoter of until he was sacked by Kevin Trudeau) who clearly didn't learn their lesson the first time.

I have theorised in some of my previous posts that Lenny was no longer resident in the USA and had moved back to Germany. Now I may have just missed it but I recently found yet another website run by the sawn off little crook going by the name of 'dr coldwell seminars' which is entirely in German... Hmmm.... Interesting...

Is The Land of The Free's loss Germany's burden? Stay tuned....