Friday, 12 August 2016

Leonard Coldwell's Ludicrous Lies... My Top Ten...

10 - He has four PhDs and four doctor degrees. 

To be fair to the little liar he has pretty much stopped telling this fib recently... Probably because of the amount of mockery it caused... 

Obtaining a PhD generally involves three years of undergraduate study, at least another year (more often two or more years) for a masters degree and anywhere from three to whatever years for a PhD. Coldwell has never produced a single scrap of evidence that he holds any genuine academic qualifications whatsoever... He's never even named the universities which supposedly granted him the PhDs or even what subjects they were in. The nearest I can find to evidence of his PhDs is one in psychology from Columbia State University (a long since defunct diploma mill) and an honorary Doctor of Humanities degree from the "unaccredited but very prestigious" Louisiana Baptist University which is exactly what you would guess it was from the name and their 'degrees' are worth about what what you would expect... Fuck all.

As for the four 'doctor degrees' it's almost impossible to even say what they are. There are two possibilities... Either he's referring to a degree in medicine like real doctors have and he doesn't or he's referring to the collection of worthless 'naturopathic' qualifications he has bought for cash from pedlars of worthless certificates and displayed on his 'bio' website... Where he seems to be under the impression that a badly altered fax saying he went to a dentist's convention in 1994 counts as a medical qualification...

Conclusion: Coldwell has precisely NO qualifications worthy of the name and has no right to call himself a doctor... Because he isn't one. His claim to have four PhDs is too ridiculous for words...


9 - He cured his mother of hepatitis C a decade before it was discovered. 

One of Coldwell's most persistent lies... Although the details vary from place to place is that he "
cured his own mother Hepatitis C, Liver cirrhosis, Terminal liver Cancer cured! 43 years ago". 

He has been telling this lie for many years but lets be generous and assume a date of writing of 2013.. That would mean his mother was diagnosed with Hep C in 1970... But... Hepatitis C wasn't actually discovered until the late 1980s and the discovery wasn't published until 1989 ...

Conclusion: Lenny should really look things up before he starts telling his tall stories.


8 - He was in general practice in Europe for 16 years.

I can say for a fact this never happened... The fact he has no medical qualifications that would allow him to practice medicine in Germany being the main reason. 

Lenny has stated himself on his German website that...
"Due to the fact that Leonard Coldwell has not requested any recognition of his degrees  in Germany and does not act as a doctor in Germany he does not have the title of doctor in Germany."
Conclusion: It never happened and Lenny should try to remember Google has a translate function some people speak English and German. I assume the reason for this 'disclaimer' on the German site is that unlike the USA, Europe in general and Germany in particular, tends to have somewhat more stringent rules over who can and who cannot call themselves a doctor.

Incidentally... If Lenny had the REAL PhDs he claims to have he would be entitled to call himself 'doctor' in Germany... But he doesn't.


7 - "I will not start the fight but I will finish it."

Quite why anybody who claims... falsely in Not A Doctor Coldwell's case.. to be a world leading clinician would want to boast of his litigious nature I have no idea... If my doctor started making that sort of claim I'd run a mile wondering what the fuck he was up to but is it even true in Lenny's case?.. Is it fuck as like.

To the best of my knowledge Lenny has launched only three defamation suits in his life and so far the results stand at World 3 : Lenny 0... He's lost one, failed to turn up for the hearing in another case and got thrown under the bus by his lawyers in the third when they either realised they'd fucked up badly or they realised Lenny the Liar had lied to them too... Or both...

Coldwell claims to have a "legal team" and to spend "$700,000 a year" on legal fees when in reality he can barely afford the most incompetent lawyers on earth... 

Lenny has also made various claims over the years that his critics were facing imminent arrest including... utterly ridiculous claims that Interpol were going to arrest a critic... In Japan... For libel... and another for "Conspiracy to destroy the grounds of business"... Which isn't even a thing let alone a federal offence thing as he laughingly called it.

Conclusion: Coldwell uses the law... very occasionally... in an attempt to silence his critics but like the cowardly little shit he is he never follows through with his wind and piss lawsuits probably because he knows he would be clocked as a monumental bullshitter the moment he took the stand.


6 - He ran his own hospitals in Europe.

As with all of Lenny's fantasies about his time in Europe there is precisely fuck all evidence that it ever happened... There are pictures of a "Modernen Threapie Centrums" on his bio site but it's not a hospital... It's a fucking spa.

Conclusion: I've told you a billions times... Don't exaggerate.


5 - He can smell cancer and even what stage it's at.

Lenny can never resist claiming he can do things that sound pretty cool... like being ex-special forces, a former sniper and a world renowned martial artist...  but he took a massive leap into the realms of the surreal when he found a BBC news article which discussed how some dogs had been trained to sniff out cancer... Not bothering himself with trivial details like the truth or the fact that dogs have a sense of smell that is about forty times more sensitive than a human's he posted the following drivel to Facebook...
"I told my students for decades I can smell cancer and even how far it is advanced. I learnt this over 40 years of dealing with cancer patients. Dogs can do this naturally."
...he soon removed the post but not before your eagle eyed correspondent copied it.

Conclusion: Coldwell has such an monumentally inflated sense of his own importance that he will lay claim to supernatural powers which nobody has without realising how utterly ludicrous he is making himself look.


4 - He's rich beyond the dreams of avarice.

Like a lot of short-arsed men Coldwell places a great deal of importance on status or... more accurately... his perceived status and by that I mean wealth. This leads Lenny to post pictures of him posing with other people's shiny trinkets which... he hopes... give him the appearance of being very wealthy indeed. Although as often as not it just shows that he has absolutely no taste whatsoever as half the time he's in rooms that look like a tacky Turkish tart's boudoir. 

Things finally leapt into an entirely different universe of the absurd when he claimed on Facebook to have no less than a hundred billion dollars.

Conclusion: He's full of shit.


3 -  He's a mega-bestselling author.

Coldwell sells books... Or at least he tries to... That's how he makes his money... Or at least tries to... But what of his claim to be a "mega-bestselling" author with 57 million readers?

No... Just fucking no. Not in this fucking universe.

A look at Amazon shows that his books could at best be described as "a fucking mess"... They are appallingly badly written... consist of a lot of material that is recycled across titles... and amount on the whole to little more than very lengthy adverts for his Instinct Idiocy Based Medical Money System Scam... Which will of course cost you many, many $$$$$... Available at a good internet near you!!! They are of course full of nothing but utter bullshit and they all include a highly verbose and badly spelled version of the Quack Miranda Warning and a lot of Sovereign Citizen pseudo legal shite from his entirely imaginary "legal team".

It also seems that the copyright in his books is owned by The Church of Inner Healing which isn't actually a church as you might foolishly have expected but is in fact a sham company that was created in 2009 and dissolved in 2013.

So what of these 57,000,000 readers? Even if each copy of his books was read by ten people... and he'd have no way of knowing this if it were the case... That would mean he's sold 5,700,000 books which... Given he seems to have produced no more than a couple of dozen books in total would mean sales of around 250,000 per title... Well within the 'bestseller' category but no fucker has ever heard of him, he has no wikipedia page (he did briefly but it was deleted on the grounds he wasn't notable) and his Amazon reviews are virtually non-existent

Something else worth pointing out is that Lenny's publisher is 21st C Publishers which is a hybrid vanity/subsidy/print-on-demand service with a speciality in crank-crap... Not exactly the natural home for an 'author' who has old-sold Terry Pratchett...

Conclusion: Coldwell's claims of 57,000,000 readers is overstated by a factor of about 1000... Probably much more.

2 - The Doctor Leonard Coldwell Foundation For Crime and Drug Free Schools and Health for Children.

This is what he has to say about the 'foundation' on his 'bio' website...
"He is the founder of the Foundation for Drug and Crime Free Schools and Health for Children ( 28 years ago ) and put 42 million dollars into his own foundation, that does not take outside donations. All profits from his books and CD sets go to the Foundations."
What a laudable and charitable organisation that sounds... But... If you toddle off over to Google and enter "The Doctor Leonard Coldwell Foundation For Crime and Drug Free Schools and Health for Children" and you exclude Coldwell's own websites or sites that simply copy text from Coldwell's sites and you exclude Amazon pages which quote his books what are you left with?.. Nothing.. Not a dickie-bird... Fuck all. 
Well... there are a few sites which mention the foundation is registered to Coldwell's usual Hungryneck Blvd mail-drop but that's all... Everything else is either Coldwell's own self-aggrandising or websites quoting Coldwell's self-aggrandising.

Where are the accounts? Where are the media reports singing the praises of the foundations? Where are testimonials from the schools describing the good works of the foundation?.. No-fucking-where that's where because to all intents and purposes it exists only on paper and inside Coldwell's delusional, psychotic head.

And then there's "American Cancer Patient Advocate Foundation" for which Coldwell is "the founder and president" and... If Google is to be believed... The only person who's ever fucking heard of it...

Conclusion: These foundations don't actually exist in any sense that makes sense. They are there either to massage Coldwell's own ego with titles like "president" (president of fuck all) or to paint him as a humanitarian... Something that his hateful, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, anti-semitic bullshit over on Facebook proves he most certainly isn't. The claim that his crappy books and CDs have produced $42,000,000 is pure fantasy from a serial purveyor of 24ct bullshit.


1 - 35,000 cancer patients and a 92.3% cure rate. 

This is the central lie on which he's built his career of grifting, fraud and deceit. As Dr Carl Sagan (a real doctor) once said "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" but there's not one scrap of credible evidence that Coldwell has ever treated a single person for cancer let alone cured anybody, anywhere of anything.

Coldwell is inordinately proud of this report from his friend Thomas Hohn

which reads...
"As requested, I reviewed both studies (The Berlin Health Institute and the Bad Nenndorf Institute for Statistics in Medicine) and found them to be correct. The conclusion of both independent studies stated that Dr Coldwell has an average cancer cure rate of 92.3%. It is also confirmed that Dr Coldwell has seen at least 35,000 patients in his professional lifetime.

Our own study also shows that Dr Coldwell's cancer patients the were referred to us after he left Germany, all seem to have even a higher cure and survival rate. Even though some of these patients refused further treatment after being referred to us we still found that 95% of those cancer patients were alive more than 10 years after diagnosis.

Dr. med. Thomas Hohn.

Jan 04th 2010"
This... according to Lenny is "independent" evidence for the voracity of his claims but is it?.. No... Of course it isn't.

For one thing the "Berlin Health Institute" doesn't seem to exist and thanks to a German speaking friend who phoned them I can confirm The Berlin Institute for Health (which is the nearest we can find) have never heard of him and wouldn't do such a study in the first place... As for "
Bad Nenndorf Institute for Statistics in Medicine"... They quite simply don't exist and I've had my Germanophone friend on the case looking for them in the Hunn-tongue.

Now then... Even if I am wrong, and those studies do exist, without actually seeing them we have no way of knowing what they said and we are left having to take the word of a man who Lenny has claimed took over his 'hospitals' when he left fled Germany... He is not by any stretch of the imagination independant... He's one of his 'alternative health' mates.

In any event even if Coldwell were claiming a cure rate of 0.00% his claims make no sense if you do a little bit of maths... And ignore the fact he wasn't and never has been qualified to treat patients for cancer anywhere in the world...

Lets start with Lenny's year of birth which is 1957 and his year of departure from Das Vaterland which was approximately 1998... That means he was in Germany for 41 years or thereabout or 23 years of his adult life.

If he is to be believed... which he isn't... on anything but let's pretend... he would have had to study medicine (to become a general practitioner) which I am assured takes 10 years in Germany... So that gets us down to 13 years which is already less than the 16 years he claims to have been a general practitioner so we'll forget... for the time being the whole general practitioner bullshit and say 13 years...

We also are expected to believe Lenny was in the special forces which would have been three years minimum so lets call it 10 years left so the maths is easy..

Assuming the good not-a-doctor worked ten hours per day, five days per week for fifty weeks of the year for ten years that gives us a total of 10x5x50x10=25,000 office hours of cancer-curing.

Now we divide 25,000 hours by 35,000 patients that gives each patient slightly over 41 minutes each with the great man in which time he has to examine, diagnose, treat and follow up progress... That's roughly the amount of time I spend with the asthma nurse every six months.

Even if I were out in my calculations and Lenny was working twelve hours a day, seven days a week for thirty years the figure of 35,000 still wouldn't be credible.

Conclusion: Like all compulsive liars Mr Leonard Coldwell is incapable of crafting an internally consistent story... If we were to believe every single thing he claimed to have achieved during his time in Germany he must have been running about like a blue arsed fly because he's been a soldier, a writer, a medical student, a doctor, a cancer specialist, a publisher, a PhD candidate, a motivational speaker, a clinical psychologist and a business consultant.,. And lots more besides.

And what contemporary evidence do we have of these enormous achievements?... A tatty and badly altered certificate of attendance at a dentist's convention in 1994.

The reality of the situation is that Coldwell is a small-time scam-artist who has dodged from one shady money making scheme to another across two continents and has achieved in his life the grand total of FUCK ALL.

If it weren't for the fact he climbed on the shoulders of a giant in scamworld... Kevin Trudeau... who... vile though he is was a very efficient crook... Lenny would be where he was before he granted himself the doctor title and invented this fantasy version of his life... Nowhere.

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